In an extract of the autobiographic book of Equiano, titled "The interesting life of Olaudah Equiano" the author tells his adventures as a slave. In these passages he refers to himself as on object at the service of the white man. He is confessing to his readers his secret fears. Equiano opens himself with no limits to tell us about his feelings. But his avowals contradicted themselves. He is split between two contradictory feelings: the aspiration to freedom and his fear to fail his escape and the consequences.
It's true that slavery has generated the most complexes emotions on its victims. But Equiano was seized between two contradictory feelings; the abandon of himself to despair and his quest of freedom. We notice that contradiction in his feelings when he revealed how scared he was to be found on his hidden spot. He said: "I expected every moment, when I heard a rustling among the trees to be found out, and punished by my master" (Equiano 11). Everything around Equiano scared him when he attempted to escape the thraldom in which he was living. Equiano confessed how the anxiety got into him and how easy he started to give up on his situation. He said: "I was seized with a violent panic, and abandoned myself to despair" (Equiano 11). Equiano felt so weak that the anguish that invaded him got over his aspiration to liberty.
Faced to his fear, he also nourished a dream, he had an ideal. All he wanted at this point was to find a way to go back home, back to freedom. This contrast in his daily life is demonstrated with evidence since the beginning of the chapter two, when he used an oxymoron to relate the souvenir of the free life he had before: “I still look back with pleasure on the first scenes of my life, though that pleasure has been for the most part mingled with sorrow” (Equiano 8). The word “pleasure” used in this sentence is a way to communicate his sensation of comfort even oppressed by his situation. Here comes this question: how could someone who’s going through such terrors can talk about any type of pleasure?
It's true that slavery has generated the most complexes emotions on its victims. But Equiano was seized between two contradictory feelings; the abandon of himself to despair and his quest of freedom. We notice that contradiction in his feelings when he revealed how scared he was to be found on his hidden spot. He said: "I expected every moment, when I heard a rustling among the trees to be found out, and punished by my master" (Equiano 11). Everything around Equiano scared him when he attempted to escape the thraldom in which he was living. Equiano confessed how the anxiety got into him and how easy he started to give up on his situation. He said: "I was seized with a violent panic, and abandoned myself to despair" (Equiano 11). Equiano felt so weak that the anguish that invaded him got over his aspiration to liberty.
Faced to his fear, he also nourished a dream, he had an ideal. All he wanted at this point was to find a way to go back home, back to freedom. This contrast in his daily life is demonstrated with evidence since the beginning of the chapter two, when he used an oxymoron to relate the souvenir of the free life he had before: “I still look back with pleasure on the first scenes of my life, though that pleasure has been for the most part mingled with sorrow” (Equiano 8). The word “pleasure” used in this sentence is a way to communicate his sensation of comfort even oppressed by his situation. Here comes this question: how could someone who’s going through such terrors can talk about any type of pleasure?
Equiano’s aspiration to freedom and the abandon of himself to despair are two opposite visions. Nevertheless both were the summary of his emotional knowledge. Into this man devastated by the barbarism of his colonists, we have two contrary emotions. However, they were the daily life of this slave who has spent the major part of it discovering new civilizations following his masters.
Therefore, we can come to the view that the existence of those who are deprived of liberty is subject to be infused with contradictions. Contradictions that make up their emotional knowledge. It can also reflect their identity quest.
Therefore, we can come to the view that the existence of those who are deprived of liberty is subject to be infused with contradictions. Contradictions that make up their emotional knowledge. It can also reflect their identity quest.
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